Big news, small victories.

First things first, it appears as though I'll be in Chile a bit longer than I initially planned! It was always my hope to stay longer, but I had no idea that I would stay for such an exciting reason. Tomorrow morning I'll be signing a contract, good through the end of June 2010, as VE's next Director of Volunteer Relations! As I've made quite clear throughout this blog, I've been over the moon for VE since I got here, so the opportunity to be involved on this level feels like yet another glorious piece falling into place. There have been many instances over the past three months where I've had a strong sense of being where I'm supposed to be, not only because of the work but because of the connections I've made with people here. To be recognized as having the potential to do this sort of job shows me not only that I am where I'm supposed to be, but also that I've made progress building confidence and maintaining "Mariah-ness" in all areas of my life. My dear best friend mentioned noticing this shift in me a year or so ago, this ability to relax and maintain my authentic personality around people I'm not completely comfortable with, and I've since realized just how significant a shift it's been. When I arrived in Chile, I made it my goal to maintain Mariah-ness from Day 1 and for some reason, something clicked and I've felt a sense of contentment from the very beginning.

That being said, I'm still terrified! But it's a good kind of terror. Daniel, the current DVR, does a truly fantastic job, and I can't quite picture anyone else in the role. I'll learn as much as I can from him in the next two months before he leaves, then I'll make the job my own. My schedule will change completely, as my time will be spent in the VE office rather than at Entre Todas, though I'll still get to see the girls about once a week. The job itself is basically my dream job at this point in my life--in a nutshell, the DVR makes sure the volunteers are happy, trained, supported, and motivated. Of course there's a long list of actual responsibilities, among them organizing the arrival of new volunteers, running Orientation and Jornada, coordinating the bi-weekly general VE meetings, and much, much more! The position will challenge many aspects of my personality, I'll get to be my goofy, fired-up self all the time, plus I can walk around the office barefooted. Happiness.

In other news, my co-workers Chris, Brooke and I recently went on vacation with the Entre Todas girls in El Tabo, a little coastal town near Isla Negra, where Pablo Neruda had a home. Though the girls and three tías stayed in El Tabo for a full week, we went for four days, knowing the experience would be a bit on the intense side. Though I felt apprehensive going in, the trip ended up being much more calm and pleasant than I expected. We stayed in a "colonia," which was a large house with three rooms of bunk beds, a kitchen, a large common space for sharing meals, and an asphalt area outside set up for soccer. The colonia was a fifteen-minute walk from the "downtown" of El Tabo and the beach. A group of boys from another hogar was also staying in the colonia, so there were plenty of hormones flying around. On our first night, we had a "dance" in the large common space (with the lights off and everything!). Couples were forming and dissolving left and right. We had never really seen the girls flirt before, so it was truly a trip. During this dance, I had a bit of a breakthrough with one of the seventeen-year-old girls who doesn't usually open up to me--we started dancing together, doing silly ho-down dance moves alternated with a few Chilean(?) steps. We were seriously cracking each other up, then all of a sudden we were alone in the center of the dance floor, swinging each other 'round and 'round for all to see. We "performed" for a few fantastic moments, then it was over, but I was ecstatic.

When it came time to go to sleep that first night, one of the tías sheepishly told us there were no beds left in the room with the girls and that we'd be sleeping in the room with the tías from the other hogar as well as the younger boys. It was all fine and dandy when we went to sleep and the little ones were all already sleeping; however, when 8 a.m. rolled around and I was convinced I was in a rowboat in rough seas, I opened my eyes and realized I was just on a wobbly top bunk with a few small boys bouncing on the bunk beneath me. The boys were harmless, although one of them did tattle on Brooke for not making her bed neatly enough.

The contrast between the two groups was fascinating. The boys prayed before every meal, sometimes singing an “educational” song as well. One of the songs simply cannot go without repeating. Chris, Brooke and I stared at each other in disbelief as one the tíos led the boys in a song called “The Little Bird,” about a little bird that wants to fly but keeps getting into trouble. At first, the bird drinks too much whiskey and gets cirrhosis. Then the little bird smokes five hundred cigarettes and gets cancer. Then the bird uses cocaine and overdoses. Finally, the bird tries heroin and dies of AIDS from a dirty needle. The song, of course, had a bright, cheery melody and all the boys merrily sang along. My, oh my.

We ate our first dinner and breakfast with the girls, then after breakfast sat down with our tías for tea and ended up having a lovely conversation with them. I think we passed some sort of test by doing this, because for every meal after that, we ate with the tías after the girls finished. There’s not usually a lot of communication with the tías when we’re at Entre Todas, so to have this time to get to know them a bit felt significant. By the end of the four days, I felt we had developed some semblance of a rapport with them and even hugged them good-bye.

Eating with the tías also gave Brooke, Chris and me some down time with each other to read or play cards, which definitely eased the stress of the trip. We walked into town with the girls on the second night and had more down time with each other when the tías let the girls run free for an hour and a half. The three of us decided to reward ourselves with some ice cream. We stood in front of the ice cream cooler, gazing at the flavors indecisively. We finally asked the slouching ice cream shop employee if we could try a couple of flavors. He sighed and reached for a spoon, scooping some mint chocolate chip for me to try. Brooke asked to try the Swiss chocolate and the employee looked at me impatiently, reaching out for the sample spoon in my mouth. Now, mind you, I had a nasty cold during this trip, so my initial thought was, “Oh, I don’t want to give Brooke my germs.” The employee held out his hand insistently, though, so I handed him the spoon. I tried to suppress a gasp as he dipped my sample spoon into the Swiss chocolate and handed it to Brooke. We looked at each other, smiled, and she popped it in her mouth. We each received, of course, a fresh spoon with our dish of ice cream.

Overall, the trip was what I expected: not traumatizing, not amazing, but not without it’s small victories. It was great to see the girls enjoy the beach, crowded as it was, and generally nice to see them constantly over the course of a few days. Brooke and I leapt into action when one of the girls had bad cramps, and we tried as best we could to comfort one of the girls who had her heart temporarily broken by one of the boys from the other hogar. I love these day-to-day happenings. When nothing we do feels like it makes any difference, I always hope that these times of just being with the girls give them a sense of worth.

Chili for Chile!

Since arriving in Chile a little over two months ago, I've had a lot of time to ponder the concept of family. Some of the most powerful moments for me with the girls have involved my realization that their life at the hogar is not summer camp but rather real life. Many of them would prefer to live with their families despite whatever factor requires them to live in the institution. Daily exposure to this situation creates for me a growing sense of gratitude for my incredible family and for my unlimited access to them. I feel like I gush to my friends about my family a lot, and maybe that's annoying, but I think the gushing is warranted.

Along this vein, I'd like to share some photos with you of an event my dad organized. He's a minister at a UCC church in my hometown of North Yarmouth, Maine and recently helped the youth group organize a fundraiser for me called Chili for Chile! I'm giddy from seeing the photos and feel utterly overwhelmed by the love and care and hard work of the community. Although the idea of the kids organizing a fundraiser for me made me a little sqeamish at first, Dad reminded me that it's also about educating them and raising their awareness of the world around them.

So here we go! Here's the amazing cake!


Here are the organizers themselves, what an adorable and festive group!


Dad had his computer set up for a slideshow of my pictures thus far and displayed the binder filled with the print-outs of my blog he's been making and posting on a bulletin board at church.


The chili! It was a chili cook-off--I'm sure the competition was stiff to say the least. There were EIGHTEEN different types of chili, plus cornbread and rice, etc. Egad!


Raffle table!


The kids limbo-ed!

And a piñata, of course!

Mmmm.

I don't know how I got to be such a lucky person! I feel absolutely floored by all of this. I feel refreshed and almost as though I have a renewed sense of energy for the work because of this wave of love I've received. Time to pass it on.

Jornada! Argentina! Progress!

As much as I love learning about Chilean culture and slang, sometimes the highlight of my day is learning a new British term or custom from my dear co-worker at Entre Todas, Chris Wiggins, or as we've taken to calling him, Lord Wiggins. "Oh look, that car is driving with its bonnet (hood) up," he'll say, or "You Americans are so obsessed with peanut butter, I just don't understand it!" His hates the way we say "awesome" so much and insists that things like a dish of ice cream or a choice '80s pop song simply cannot be awesome. This weekend, however, when a group of us headed to Mendoza, Argentina, Chris allowed me to use "awesome" to describe the scenery we saw from the bus along the way. The road cuts right through the Andes, so everywhere you look you see raw, rugged beauty. It's always good to be reminded of just how awe-inspiring nature can be. Here are a few shots from the drive:

Lovely parks and outdoor cafés fill Mendoza, which is also one of the eight wine capitols of the world (according to whom, I have no idea). We relaxed, ate good food, perused an artesan market, took tours of two wineries and an olive oil factory, and enjoyed the challenges of coordinating multiple groups of people in a foreign country with no cell phones! We spent two and half hours in a long line of buses at the border on our way back, but we managed to make our own fun:

The previous weekend also took place in a beautiful spot, Cajón del Maipo. The entire VE family headed to a beautiful retreat center for Jornada, our weekend retreat that takes place about a month and a half after each new class arrives. Over the course of the weekend we worked in groups, both large and small, discussing why we had come to Chile and VE, as well as relevant issues such as poverty and social exclusion. We also had time to ourselves to reflect on our experiences thus far. Sitting on a bench surrounded by mountains and flowering trees, I thoroughly enjoyed this opportunity to get my head on straight. We also participated in various group-building activities and challenges that brought me back to the days of summer camp, youth group, and a singing group a bunch of my closest friends and I were in throughout junior high and high school. It felt really great to revisit this type of activity where people are made to be a bit vulnerable but are therefore more open to learning about themselves and each other.

There was also plenty of time for enjoying the relaxing atmosphere of the retreat center and, of course, the pool! No shortage of silliness here:

On Friday night, right after midnight when it was officially my birthday, three of my friends presented me with a birthday Jornada survival kit including a loaf of gluten-free bread, a gluten-free cake mix, a pack of Starburst, a mix CD and two cards made by Entre Todas girls! I was pretty much floored and felt completely happy to be where I was. On Saturday night Brooke, one of the volunteers who cooked for us all weekend, made the cake which was presented to me complete with birthday candles and a roaring rendition of "Cumpleaños Feliz." Happiness.

My favorite activity of the weekend came on Saturday night at the last meeting of our smaller groups. We took turns holding a candle, each person making affirming comments to the person holding the candle. My group had great energy and zest from the get-go, so although this activity was really just a formal version of what we'd been doing all weekend, it was a wonderful time to share together.

On Sunday morning we took the traditional Jornada group pictures:

Woot!

Finally, in Entre Todas news, I've been feeling really pumped about the progress we've been making. This past week we implemented a few of our projects quite successfully. On Tuesday Chris and I took six girls to a large park with a soccer ball and frisbee in hand. Though the girls weren't all participating the whole time, each one participated at one point with a smile on her face! Taking the girls out of the hogar always garners positive results to some degree, but to see them running around, throwing a frisbee, etc, was really exciting. They had a blast running through the sprinklers set up to water the fields at the park and at one point all eight of us played a fierce game of Monkey in the Middle with the soccer ball.

On Wednesday we held the first installment of our cooking project with three girls. I started by telling them we would be making chocolate chip cookies and asking them to brainstorm on a piece of paper what ingredients they thought we'd need. To my surprise, they did this quite enthusiastically! After I handed out copies of the recipe, we had a discussion about why certain ingredients are important. As we calmly discussed the purpose of baking soda, I marveled in my mind how patient and engaged the girls were being. When we moved to the kitchen and began the actual cooking, I was shocked at how well the girls listened to me and how they allowed each other to participate equally. They were absolute gems throughout the whole process, and although I couldn't eat the cookies, Chris informs me they were "absolutely lush!" There was drama with some of the other girls who didn't get to participate--a couple of the girls who never, ever give us the time of day came up to the kitchen window and yelled at us for not telling everyone about the project. It shook me to have them yell like that, and we're still in the process of figuring out how to choose the other group we'll work with in the kitchen, but I know I need to not let their uneven emotions get to me. I have to remember that for those three girls, it was a brilliant day.

On Thursday, Chris and I stopped at a grocery store on our way to work to buy cookies and juice for a silent reading hour. I made a little sign for the door of the room where we read that said "Zona de Leer" (Reading Area) and for over an hour (!!!) we had three girls reading silently with us. They were excited about the juice and cookies, but they stayed long after the supplies had dwindled. Two of the girls even thanked me when they left the room! After the reading hour, the girls practiced a couple of their dances for the upcoming VE Art Festival. At one point they made me get up and dance with them which, of course, resulted in me getting made fun of a lot, but it felt really good to be silly with them in that way. I danced around for a long time with the six-year-old, spinning around on the floor, etc, generally giggling and being crazy with her, which she loves. After we danced she was clingy and snuggled with me for about twenty minutes--when she's sweet, she's unbelievably sweet, and I'm reminded that she's just a six-year-old who needs to be hugged. At Jornada I thought a lot about human touch, a theme I've frequently considered for a few years now. It's so complicated with these girls who live outside a family setting and don't have access to the kind of nurturing physical touch they need. They also most likely have had negative experiences with human touch and therefore have walls up to protect themselves.

Things have been feeling better, overall, though. A few of the girls I had trouble interacting with at first have really warmed up to me and a couple of the girls now greet me with hugs everyday. It's not perfect, of course, but for the moment I'm in a good place about it. Next week we'll be going on vacation with the girls for four or five days, so that will be a completely different experience, but I'm excited about it. Keep the progress coming.